Self-Doubt

One of the things that people who seek growth are most wary of is complacency. So when they get a good result or someone recognizes them, they are only temporarily satisfied. They think that if they stop growing, they'll stop growing, so they start self-doubting again. I used to be the same way.


About a year ago, there was an all-hands meeting at my company where they were announcing who would be promoted this month. The meeting started and I was the one who got the promotion. After receiving the good news, I naturally stepped up to the front and announced the promotion, saying something like this


"I'm actually a very self-doubting person, so when I get a good result, I always think I'm lucky and try not to take it for granted, but this result is like a message to me to stop doubting myself and start believing in myself. Thank you."


Three months after this realization, I was interviewing for a job at a company. During the interview, my YouTube channel became a topic of conversation, and I was asked, "How much have you grown your personal YouTube channel?" I responded with the following


"I've been on YouTube for a long time, but the truth is, I haven't reached 2,000 subscribers yet. It's not a lot of subscribers, but I definitely know how to grow a channel, so I can do a good job at work."


Compared to a year ago, when I believed in myself, four months ago I had lost my confidence again. I was talking down to myself, even though no one had told me that 2,000 subscribers was a small number. Anyway, after the interview, I joined the company, and afterwards, I had a meal with the CEO, and he said to me.


"Heechan, you're not the one who only got 2,000 subscribers, you're the one who got 2,000 subscribers, and you're the one who got 1.3 million views. Even with the same result, the way you say it makes a difference to the listener. If you've done a good enough job, why are you not confident enough?"


Then, the other day, he said something like this.


"Maybe you're comparing yourself to the top 0.1% because you've been watching too many books and media, but you've already produced a lot of good work for your age, and you might want to ask yourself. Have you really put in the effort to be anywhere near the top 0.1%?"


Often, when I talk to people who are working hard, I find that they have extreme self-doubt. In order to keep themselves from becoming complacent, they constantly hold themselves to a standard of doubt in order to grow further. As a result, they accept bad outcomes as they are, but they overthink good outcomes. But is it really necessary to twist an achievement or someone's recognition instead of accepting it for what it is?


Sometimes people think that criticism or feedback is the only thing that's genuine and valuable, but compliments also carry weight. Sometimes people think that only criticism or feedback is genuine and valuable, but the truth is that compliments carry weight.


Finally, it's worth asking yourself if you're not believing in yourself because of self-doubt, if you're slowing down your own growth because of self-doubt, and if you're diminishing your own value because of self-doubt.